Tighten Your Jar, Ladies

Ladies, no man should know the taste of the cookies in your jar in less than 90 days minimum... I don't care how backed up you are...

Hallé Berry, Single, I'm not Surprised

Recently, we've learned the news that Halle Berry is back on the market. She and her model boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry have gone their separate ways and will have joint custody over their 2-year-old daughter, Nahla.

Ok, so Halle is Single. And with this comes a buzzing from women across the nation which for some reason, question their own worth in comparison to Halle's "love" life. The disheartening question that arises is:

If Halle can't keep a man, how could I expect to?

My question is, "When did Halle Berry become the relationship hub for women?" Let me guess, somewhere between her role for Boomerang and Monster's Ball. Reality check, neither of those roles were healthy relationship models. And most importantly, they were movie roles!!!

Just because Ms. Berry is beautiful coupled by being a public figure, doesn't make her the ruler of yoir life, ladies. As a matter of fact, because she is these things, she is a target for faux connections.

There are men out there that would cheat on Halle Berry, just for the extra points he could garner from his peers. Halle is a multi millionaire with all of her relationship business out in the open. For love, I bet she'd do anything to have the conditions that a woman away from the public eye has.

Halle has been quoted in the past for wanting to be a mother. And not to take credit away from her most recent relationship, but I wouldn't be surprised that when she writes a book about her life, she'll admit to being with Gabriel for his model looks and DNA, to create a beautiful child.

Halle is her own woman, as you as woman that look up to her, should be. She has her own demons and regrets. She has her own victories and failures. And just she won and Oscar, doesn't make her the icon for how life should be lived.

She "can't keep a man" due to her choices in men. Maybe she doesn't want to be worshipped; maybe she wants to worship her man. But to worship is to submit your power, and any woman that is willing to reliquish her power suffers her own consequences.

You know, isn't it interesting how people would say that First Lady Obama is unattrative, yet she is with one of the most desirable men on the planet? The First Lady is attractive in more ways than just being beautiful. She has grace, she isn't afraid of the power she wields, and she is secure in herself. She isn't Halle, but she is beautiful still, if you eliminate the comparisons.

Gabriel reportedly left Halle because of their age difference of 9 years and the fact that he was still attracted to other women. Let's be clear: if he loved Halle, being attracted to other women wouldn't had mattered. So let's eliminate love. The 9 year age difference wasn't an issue until later on in the relationship. So maybe she was too mature for Gabriel; he didn't have the fun with Halle he remembered having with others. Ultimately, if he was with Halle because of her grace, no other woman would get in the way of that.

First Lady Obama - 1
Halle Berry - 0

The Top 5 Things Your Man Should Do for You on Valentine’s Day

The holiday of “love” is sneaking it’s “he went to Jared’s” eyes around the corner. Valentine’s Day 2010 is coming, and depending on the status of your relationship, it could possibly be called Armageddon 2010 if your boyfriend or even husband doesn’t get his act together.

A ‘holiday’ like this could be tricky. Think about it. Remember when you were young, like elementary school young, and on Valentine’s Day, you had to bring cards to school to give out. There were cookies and cupcakes and all that. What do you think us little boys were thinking about? It surely wasn’t the cards. We wanted the sweets, while the little girls wanted the cards, and yes, some sweets as well. So even back when, guys weren’t all that enthused about this day.

As we got older, Valentine’s Day gifts evolved from cartoon cards to helium balloons, chocolates, flowers, dinners and such. The man’s perspective on the day didn’t evolve though. Valentine’s Day isn’t our (man) day; it is yours (woman). And further more, if a man isn’t in a relationship at that time, February 14 is just one day closer to President’s Day.

So ladies, here’s some advice before I get to the Top 5. First, if Valentine’s Day is important to you, you should share this information within the 1^st five conversations you have with your potential boyfriend (or girlfriend). Realize that Valentine’s Day is what he makes of it for you, not what your best friend received from her boyfriend, etc. Valentine’s Day isn’t mandatory five star dinners with a horse driven carriages, or two dozens of red roses with a 3-day Miami weekend. If your day ends with being one colorful rose with an, “I Care about You,” that is a profound memory, the sentimental moment for which to build a relationship upon. So in other words, release Valentine’s Day of its pressures and find beauty in YOUR moment. SIDE NOTE: If you are dating, his responsibilities to you are less, if any. The dating process is opened to multiple opportunities on both sides. Valentine’s Day is not your birthday.

So here is the Top 5. Remember to blog with your friends, family and your special someones… I don’t mind speaking for you.

5. He should “Remember” the importance of this day to you.

4. He should “Give You His Time”.

3. He should “Put in the Effort”.

2. He should “Be Open to your wants and needs”.

1. He should “Make Your Heart Sing”.  

Oh, before I forget, for us men, not receiving a gift on Valentine’s Day is fine by us. That doesn’t mean we will not accept cupcakes.

The Race to Nowhere: Relationship Reform #2

What's funny is that most of us frequent sites like Facebook and Twitter every moment of everyday and have no problem with sharing our status. People will tell you where they are, who they are with and whether they'll be throwing a cookout on Saturday or not.

On the other hand, if you ask that same person about their relationship status, their answer is complex, complicated to say the least. It's obvious that no one has sat down with them to talk about what each status to a relationship is all about. So here is a blueprint that I have come up with for you to share. Leave your thoughts afterward.

• When you’re ‘Single’, you have no obligations to anyone. You are able to talk or go out with whomever, whenever you please. You’re availability is limitless and fun is just a party away.
• When you’re ‘Dating’, you have no obligations to anyone. You’re testing the waters, going out with different prospects, feeling out your connection with that person(s). Your availability isn’t as limitless but you’re in the game.
• When you’re ‘Involved’, you now have an obligation (exclusive). Your connection has grown to an exclusive level. Your availability is now limited to ONE person. At this stage, indulging yourself in others is labeled as cheating.
• When you’re ‘Married’, your religion and/or the law binds your love. You’re with the person that you will spend the rest of your life with (hopefully). Marriage is a total commitment. At this stage, indulging yourself in others is labeled as infidelity/adultery.