Are you Walking or Swimming?

Some people don't realize how shallow they are until they find themselves walking, NOT SWIMMING in the pool.

Hallé Berry, Single, I'm not Surprised

Recently, we've learned the news that Halle Berry is back on the market. She and her model boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry have gone their separate ways and will have joint custody over their 2-year-old daughter, Nahla.

Ok, so Halle is Single. And with this comes a buzzing from women across the nation which for some reason, question their own worth in comparison to Halle's "love" life. The disheartening question that arises is:

If Halle can't keep a man, how could I expect to?

My question is, "When did Halle Berry become the relationship hub for women?" Let me guess, somewhere between her role for Boomerang and Monster's Ball. Reality check, neither of those roles were healthy relationship models. And most importantly, they were movie roles!!!

Just because Ms. Berry is beautiful coupled by being a public figure, doesn't make her the ruler of yoir life, ladies. As a matter of fact, because she is these things, she is a target for faux connections.

There are men out there that would cheat on Halle Berry, just for the extra points he could garner from his peers. Halle is a multi millionaire with all of her relationship business out in the open. For love, I bet she'd do anything to have the conditions that a woman away from the public eye has.

Halle has been quoted in the past for wanting to be a mother. And not to take credit away from her most recent relationship, but I wouldn't be surprised that when she writes a book about her life, she'll admit to being with Gabriel for his model looks and DNA, to create a beautiful child.

Halle is her own woman, as you as woman that look up to her, should be. She has her own demons and regrets. She has her own victories and failures. And just she won and Oscar, doesn't make her the icon for how life should be lived.

She "can't keep a man" due to her choices in men. Maybe she doesn't want to be worshipped; maybe she wants to worship her man. But to worship is to submit your power, and any woman that is willing to reliquish her power suffers her own consequences.

You know, isn't it interesting how people would say that First Lady Obama is unattrative, yet she is with one of the most desirable men on the planet? The First Lady is attractive in more ways than just being beautiful. She has grace, she isn't afraid of the power she wields, and she is secure in herself. She isn't Halle, but she is beautiful still, if you eliminate the comparisons.

Gabriel reportedly left Halle because of their age difference of 9 years and the fact that he was still attracted to other women. Let's be clear: if he loved Halle, being attracted to other women wouldn't had mattered. So let's eliminate love. The 9 year age difference wasn't an issue until later on in the relationship. So maybe she was too mature for Gabriel; he didn't have the fun with Halle he remembered having with others. Ultimately, if he was with Halle because of her grace, no other woman would get in the way of that.

First Lady Obama - 1
Halle Berry - 0

Stigma Killer: "Wifey's Never Become Wives"

A "wifey" for all extensive purporses isn't even the shell of a WIFE. A "wifey" is a Rap term to describe another Rap term, the "Ride or Die Chick". Both terms spoke of a woman that would stand by her man, nomatter what. Too bad these women didn't pick up on the fact that 'nomatter what' consisted of being in threesomes, being disrespected in public, being called out of your name, being one of many women in this mans life, etc.

Being the "wifey" often stands for having the title of "his main woman". This is the woman who for example, knows that her man is doing her wrong, putting her mental and physical health at danger, however she brags about the fact that he comes home to her at night; she brags about the fact of using his credit and debit cards; she would even confront his other women and call then "Reebok broads" while she is the one wearing the heels.

I would like you to notice a common denominator. Every statement being made on this subject is Rap music influenced... A male dominated industry that uses it's influence to mold women to their choosing. "I was just f*cking those girls, I was going to get right back," familiar lines from Jay-Z on the Blueprint that over time, became acceptable over time. He was telling his story and someone decided to live it.

The perfect example for the life of the Wifey is the song called, 'It Kills Me' by Melanie Fiona. This is a song that places the wifey on center stage where she questions if she should be a lady, because she wants to have his babies. In neither example that I have given, a woman is placed in a strong, powerful light.

Truth be told, a wifey could never become a WIFE, because the mentalities and responsibilities are night and day. A WIFE would never stoop as low as to share her husband and to be proud of the fact that she is #1. A healthy relationship has no number, no rankings, no perks over another. A WIFE wouldn't dare put her business, especially sexual, out into the street and neither would her husband. I am talking about a MATURE relationship here, and not mature in the context of sexual content; this maturity is between two adults. So yes, I am saying that being a wifey is immature and any man that wants a wifey is immature and selling the worth of a woman short.

Please, I ask of you to share this information with the people you love, by hitting the Retweet button at the beginning of this post or the Social Media buttons below. Leave comments no matter how short. This is Success in Training.

The Race to Nowhere: Rihanna and her Beating Heart

Earlier this week, this photograph of Rihanna hit the internet like the placebo rockets that crashed into the moon in hopes of finding evidence of water. Rihanna just released her new single ‘Russian Roulette’ from the new album “Rated R” to drop in November. I will guess that this racy dominatrix laden masterpiece’s soul purpose was to shock everyone into being attentive of the Pop/Rock starlet.

Well it did the trick. You have our attention Rihanna. Many of us are awaiting your return, wondering if this project in some way is a comeback. Some of us are wondering if your past which was made public to the world, is behind you. Are you in control of your life now? Or an even tougher question, were you in control of your life in the first place? We know that there is a machine surrounding you, designed to push your brand at your discretion or your expense. That doesn’t mean that this photograph isn’t 100% you.

We see the eye patch Rihanna… the hole in it… similar to the scaring around your eye after “The Incident”. We see the barbed wire… computer generated or not… excruciating pain closing in on your fair skin, leaving bruise after filthy bruise. The fire in your hair Rihanna; the wavering innocence in your eyes. Maybe I’m reading into you too deeply. Or maybe, just maybe, there is an understanding here.

I wonder what success means to you. I wonder what love means to you. I wonder if the embarrassment has changed your views on life. I wonder if your life continue you, business as usual. I wish you luck, and I wish you an outfit that will bring mystery and protection to your outer and inner shell.