The Race to Nowhere: Act Your Fame

Quick an simple, if you are famous/privelaged, act your fame. Why are NBA players sitting on the bench during a game that are getting paid 6-figures to play per game, tweeting to their followers? Why get married if your vows aren't worth the mouth that is speaking them?

I need for the famous/privelaged to say that they are better than others, and prove it. Yes, I said it. If someone is making 25 million a year to hit a ball, this person shouldn't be dropping the ball in unacceptable ways.

I know, nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't have morals and a wealth of professionalism. Role Model or not, you are still in the public eye and you still inspire people to aspire. Just clean up your act.

The Race to Nowhere: Stick With What Got You There

Ladies, have you ever come to a point in a relationship where you felt that you didn’t want for your connection to be all about sex? I’m sure that most of you have. You feel like once you popped the top on sexual encounters, that each time you get together, sex must take place. And in your mind, it doesn’t matter if you initiated it or not, it’s just the point that now it happens every time, any place.

Getting down to it, to feel that you don’t want for your relationship to be all about sex means that you may have had sex too early in your connection. You feel like you don’t talk or snuggle and kiss as much as you once have. You think about the times when you could kiss your significant other for hours on end and nothing sexual would come of it. Now that you’ve had sex, a kiss that lasts only minutes leads to clothing pealing off.

Now this is where the environment changes. You are disappointed in confused by what you have. You begin to wonder if your significant other is only with you for sex. You want more than that and feel like you only have so many options. I’ll lead with the two options that normally lead to failure.

1. Dodging any and all encounters that could possibly lead to sex. Remember how those kisses once lasted for 20 minutes? Well now, you deliberately cut down the time on the kiss, by pulling away after a short time. Or you simply choose to cut down your time together, altogether; only for a short period of time, you think, but now, you are risking your connection.
2. You begin to deny sex for as long as you feel as you need to, even if you want it just as bad. Suddenly, you start to match up your dates with when you are on your cycle, because this when you feel safest about sex not happening.

Now here is the million dollar question: If your significant other cheats on you during while you are holding off on sex, was your connection all about sex? Let me explain this… ok, so your man cheated on you and now you are angry; you are screaming at him, telling him that all he wanted was sex from you. Depending on the man, you might be right. But what if you’re not? What if you had a man that was dedicated to you and did all he could to stay faithful; however, it was your lack of giving him the emotional and physical connection that he has grown accustomed to, that led him down this road.

Ladies, if you do not want for your relationship to be all about sex, hold off on having sex altogether (no sex to begin with) until you feel that you have the connection you desire out of your significant other. Yes, there are times in sexually active relationships when being sexual isn’t priority like in sickness, after birth, etc. A man that goes elsewhere under these circumstances is heartless for doing so.

However, if you are deliberately denying him sex for long periods of time, you are the one in the wrong. Remember, loyalty doesn’t go in one direction. Don’t believe that your deliberate actions in denying him sex should prove him to being loyal to you, when you are NOT being loyal to him and his needs.

The best way to get through this is conversation. There must be an understanding in place to ensure that you both understand the importance of your overall connection. In all fairness and truth, sex can’t be demoted once it becomes a factor.

So what are you thoughts on these views?

The Race to Nowhere: My brush with sheer Ignorance

Earlier today, I walked into a local store and overheard a conversation that I wish I could take back.

There was this female with two children, that she allowed to run crazy throughout the store. While her children got into everything, she talked to a mutual associate that worked at the store about her money concerns.

Her children were in daycare, which was paid for by the state (tax dollars). She said that she was told that in order to keep the assistance for her children, that she'd need to go back to school or get a job. She says to them, "If I wanted to go to school or get a job, I would had kept my legs closed."

This is why I didn't call her a lady or a woman at the beginning of the story. She admitted to what thousands of people are getting away with in this country and it sickened me. Not only the fact that you are working the system for room and board, but you deliberately gave birth to do so. She obviously could care less for her children just from the fact of how she let the roam around unattended. These children don't stand a chance in the real world because their mother and lack of a father figure. And our tax dollars are paying for this outright ignorance. What are your thoughts about this?

The Race to Nowhere: Chuck D on being “Black in America” (Hello CNN)

I am, Black in America. So when the “critically acclaimed” television special aired on CNN, I didn’t bother watching it. Whether the show was an hour, or three hours long, I felt that I’d more likely walk away from it with something taken away from me, than given to me. I live in Urban America. My parents and grandparents and so forth have lived in Urban America. To know it, you must live it, and I’m sorry, but interviewing those that do, then editing the footage to create dramatic television, isn’t official to me.

So what I wanted to do was sit down, face to face with an iconic face in Urban culture to not pose the question, “What does it mean to you, being black in America?” I wanted to breathe in and out, a natural conversation that would touch on the subject without a word towards it. So when I sat down with Chuck D, leader of the LEGENDARY (yes, legendary) Public Enemy, I knew that our conversation would walk us down a road less traveled; the realistic one.

These are Chuck D’s views, word for word
Being “Black in America” in 2009 means that we have no excuse for being tired. Being “Black in America” you should know that the cheapest price you could pay is attention. It also means that we must be as active with ourselves and understanding, as the President is right now. Let’s go further, being “Black in America” has introduced us to a lot of individualism. When you talk about being “Latino in America” there is still a collective in place, a team effort. When you talk about Latino’s, the men outnumber the boys. The men work together in abundance. “Black in America” maybe you’ll see in the entertainment business, 8 or 9 dudes working together, but even that has to be questioned. Are they really working together or are these 8 dudes securing the 1 dude that is really working? “Latino in America” if you see 12 dudes working, they are all working in a zone. They take lunch together and they are eating quietly. When that bell sounds, they are back working as a collective. When the weekend comes, they might pray together or watch their sons play soccer, together, raising their families together. You can’t beat that collective. Once upon a time, people used to laugh at the eight Latino’s crammed in a Caprice, but the point was that it was 8 of them rolling together. “Black in America” used to mirror that in the 60’s. You’d see 8 black men rolling up in a Cutlass, being that collective. Then it got to a point where those cats felt that they were moving on up, so they all got their own cars. Now you’ll have one dude in one car, another dude in another and they never meet. People are now quick to say that they don’t need anyone, but no man or woman is an island. Individualism is really eating at the core of Black America. It’s a big issue.

The Race to Nowhere: "Good Hair" My View, not a Review

Over the weekend, “Good Hair” a documentary by the comedic great, Chris Rock, hit theaters across America. Look, I haven’t watched the movie, at least not yet, maybe. Living in an urban area, I witness its message everyday. ‘Good Hair’ is something that many Americans strive for. Caucasian males use gel and spray, African-American males use pomades and oil sheen, Caucasian females color and straighten, African-American females get the works.

Those that are against the message would like to make it universal: African-American females aren’t the only ones that spend their time and money on having good hair days. Ladies, I understand your frustrations. Why must it be all about you, when Caucasian females, in one seating, can spend a few hundred dollars for their stylist to trim them up? Well it’s about you because Chris Rock has a daughter of your likeness that asked him a question that I’m sure hurt his soul, “daddy, why don’t I have good hair?”

I remember when there was a time that African-Americans, female (and male) straightened their hair to be accepted in “White America”. Those that have done so left a black eye on “Black America” that some are still irate about. In 2009, going beyond, the view on wanting ‘Good Hair’ has changed dramatically. Let’s start at the point that Rock wanted to make in this movie.

It is not as much that adults are making the decision to massage toxic chemicals into their hair and scalp to achieve manageable hair result. Now more than ever, young mothers are placing these same chemicals into their child’s hair, in some cases, their infant’s hair. You would think that it is obvious not to place hair extensions or toxic chemicals into your infants’ hair. Maybe what this movie will do is spark the necessary conversations needed to put together a manual on what a parent should and shouldn’t do in regards to hair health.

Some have complained that Chris didn’t touch on the movement of “natural” hair growth that is sweeping the nation. To me, the fact that he didn’t feature this movement should be message enough that it is not as strong or promoted as it should be. Little girls in urban areas, not even in their teens, walk through the city, hair full of extensions; hair styles that are not even fitting of their ages.

If hair makes the person, than it can also make a child seem older than they are. Take it a step further; if 9 and 10 year olds are walking around with their hair done in an adult style, the cycle has already begun for these little girls to put in hundreds of hours in a salon when they are of age. And sadly, the cycle has already begun for older boys, even men to approach them in an adult manner.

I applaud Chris Rock for placing his time and money behind releasing a film such as “Good Hair”. It is a must that the African-American community opens up as many forums as possible on this subject. Having “Good Hair” spills over into another social concern in itself.

The Race to Nowhere: Integrate, never Revolve

The mistake so many people make in taking relationships further, is revolving their entire life around their significant other rather than integrating their life with that person.

When revolving your life around someone, it is so easy to lose track the life you once lived, and the people that you've once held close. You'd often lose yourself and everything that your significant other once enjoyed about you.

What you should want to do is integrate this person into your life. This way you can study the level of interaction this person has within your lifestyle. It is ok to not agree on everything. However, if you are close to your family, and your significant other isn't, the possibilities of this person pulling you away from your family are pretty high.

So Integrate, and never Revolve...

The Race to Nowhere: Rihanna and her Beating Heart

Earlier this week, this photograph of Rihanna hit the internet like the placebo rockets that crashed into the moon in hopes of finding evidence of water. Rihanna just released her new single ‘Russian Roulette’ from the new album “Rated R” to drop in November. I will guess that this racy dominatrix laden masterpiece’s soul purpose was to shock everyone into being attentive of the Pop/Rock starlet.

Well it did the trick. You have our attention Rihanna. Many of us are awaiting your return, wondering if this project in some way is a comeback. Some of us are wondering if your past which was made public to the world, is behind you. Are you in control of your life now? Or an even tougher question, were you in control of your life in the first place? We know that there is a machine surrounding you, designed to push your brand at your discretion or your expense. That doesn’t mean that this photograph isn’t 100% you.

We see the eye patch Rihanna… the hole in it… similar to the scaring around your eye after “The Incident”. We see the barbed wire… computer generated or not… excruciating pain closing in on your fair skin, leaving bruise after filthy bruise. The fire in your hair Rihanna; the wavering innocence in your eyes. Maybe I’m reading into you too deeply. Or maybe, just maybe, there is an understanding here.

I wonder what success means to you. I wonder what love means to you. I wonder if the embarrassment has changed your views on life. I wonder if your life continue you, business as usual. I wish you luck, and I wish you an outfit that will bring mystery and protection to your outer and inner shell.