Soapbox Jargon: Scared of the Future

Some people are so burned by their past, they don't want to fall for the present...

Another person's...

Another person's mistake should not become your fear.

Every Second...

Every second, there are three doors to choose from...

Monday Morning Motivation (9/27/10)

Good Monday Morning to all!!!

I am so excited, just tickled pink and all that. I realize that the weather isn't all that beautiful, but life still is.

There are so many possibilities this week. Knowing that September 2010 will end this week, you can think back to September 1st to make sure you didn't leave any goals on the table for this month.

I wish you the best Monday ever... Everything you do today, matters.

Quote of the Day

Evolving isn't quitting - Will "Deshair" Foskey

Quote of the Day

Anything humanly seen is humanly possible - Will "Deshair" Foskey

Deshairism of the Day

When people can't afford to lose, they take the least threatening path to obscurity.

---

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You can also check the sidebar of this blog for up to the moment tweets.

False Impressions, lead to Faulty Selections

People always remember your first impression. But what happens when you forget your first impression? It happens all the time. We’re told to put our best foot forward during job interviews as well as the courting process. The issue comes when our best foot forward, isn’t a natural one.

What is perfection, really? A razor sharp haircut? Hair and nails freshly done? A new outfit with shoes fresh out of the box? Is perfection scripting your conversation in the mirror? More than likely, the perfection you are looking for is above and beyond your day to day. Taking that extra shower before your first date may seem like the best move, but if you already feel and smell fresh, are you willing to take that extra shower every time you go on a date with that specific person?

This is where false impressions take form. When you are not proceeding naturally, you are painting a picture that you must live up to; a picture that you won’t and can’t sustain for very long. This is why there are periods in most relationships where one or both people appear to become lazy. The person with the most false impressions on the table will slowly become who they really are, and their significant other has the choice of sticking it out, hoping that their interest will get back on their game or to simply walk away.

Normally before the false impressions are all but history, the relationship has already exceeded any and all expectations. These false impressions are slow lies unspoken, leading to hearts (really just emotions) soon to be broken (or disappointment).

So the solution is simple… be yourself. There is nothing wrong with looking great, smelling good, and being articulate etcetera on your first date. The problem is when you know in your soul that you can’t sustain this impression; that you’ll eventually forget the person you were that night.

Not Interested? Don't Give him Your Number!

My phone would ring, I'd pick it up and there is this nervous sounding guy on the other end. "Wrong Number," he says before hanging up. My phone would ring again. He is calling back, thinking that maybe he dialed the wrong digit. I pick up the phone again, this time with a little more attitude, and he hangs up.

I shake my head because I know that some young lady gave him a phone number that wasn't her own. I've been there; calling a woman I just met only to be asked, "Pick up or delivery?"

My question to women that commit this unspoken social crime is, "If you're not interested, why give out false hope?"

I understand, there is outdated social code that women play hard to get. This code causes for men to become aggressive in gaining a woman's time, in this case, phone number.

The dating game has changed on many levels. These days you'll find that women are more of "Go Getters" when it comes to getting what she wants. If she is interested, as a man or a woman, you'll know.

But what I find to be an issue is when bullying comes into play. Ladies, if you are not interested in the person that's pursuing you, get out of dodge. Let this person know that you are not interested and move forward. You can't allow yourself to be bullied into giving out your phone number. If he'd bully you for your number, why would he stop there? He'll press you for money and sex, and just so he'd leave you alone, you'd give in.

This isn't the way to go through life. Now let's say that you give him your real number but choose to not answer your phone. Now he is calling you every hour, texting you day after day. And all you can say is, "why doesn't he just get the picture and stop calling?" He won't! He didn't give up to get your number, why give up now? So do YOU get the picture?

You shouldn't reward a person that you're not interested in with your phone number. You will get what you gave in to.

Cute Child + First Lady = Amnesty for Mom?

Yesterday, a cute little girl, daughter of an illegal immigrant, took what some people would call the chance of a lifetime to catch First Lady Obama of guard with an "unscripted" question. Noticed how I put unscripted between parenthesis? That's because in my opinion, I believe the little girl was leaned into asking this question:

"My mom said, I think that she says that, Barack Obama is going to take away everybody that doesn't have papers," the young girl told Mrs. Obama as she visited a Washington-area school with Mexican first lady Margarita Zavala.

First of all, the First Lady is on her National tour to fight childhood obesity. She was not in any way obligated to answer any questions about "papers". Now if the little girl wanted to know if going to Burger King 8 times a week was a problem, that was more up the First Lady's alley. Luckily, First Lady Obama took the personal approach to answering the little girls question.

Back to the point I'd like to make, look over the question asked; the hesitation, almost as if trying to remember the exact question to ask, the context, calling the President by his government name. I wouldn't be at all surprised if down the line we all find out that this question WAS scripted.

Ultimately, CNN reported that Immigration officials will not pursue the little girls mom. Here is an excerpt from the report:

Immigration and Customs Enforcement investigations are based on "solid law enforcement work and not classroom Q and As," said DHS spokesman Matt Chandler. Immigration and Customs Enforcement is a part of DHS.

In closely, did this cute child just give her mother the gift of Amnesty? More than likely. Who will have the heart to send this girls mom away now? Looks like children will have their questions screened in the future. Thanks cute little girl.

Deshairism of the Day

You Must Know Better, To Grow Better.

Apple Indirectly Admits to Misleading Customers (iPhone)

Ever walked into an AT&T store and asked the billion dollar question, "When is the new iPhone coming out?" Just for the representative to look at you like you're speaking alien and says, "We have no clue when or if a new iPhone will be released this year. But we have the latest one over here if you'd like to check it out."

So you proceed to buy the latest iPhone only to find out a month later that a newer version is coming out in two weeks. Your first thought is, "Was I duped?" You begin to wonder if the reps knew all along that a newer version was on the way, but couldn't inform you about it (at risk of termination).

Well I was reading the CNN Application on my iPhone this morning when I came across a statement, from an affidavit released this past Friday from Apple Attorney George Riley (talking about the affects of the recent 4G iPhone leak):

***People that would have otherwise purchased a currently existing Apple product would wait for the next item to be released, thereby hurting overall sales and negatively affecting Apple's earnings.***

So there you have it. Apple isn't a multi-billion dollar company for nothing. Not to say that other companies aren't doing the same thing. It is just interesting what you'll learn when a company is losing millions.

One time while scrolling around in a AT&T store, I was pulled aside by an AT&T rep which sneakingly informed me that Apple normally releases a new version of the iPhone every year in June/July. Wow, that makes perfect sense.

My advise to you would be to think quarterly. July is the start of the new Fiscal Year. Why not have a new product to lead the company through a 3-month quarter, right? The iPad was released at the beginning of this previous quarter and stocks shot up. So if you think quarterly, you'll be on point for knowing when Apple will release a new product, upgrade, etc.

Hallé Berry, Single, I'm not Surprised

Recently, we've learned the news that Halle Berry is back on the market. She and her model boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry have gone their separate ways and will have joint custody over their 2-year-old daughter, Nahla.

Ok, so Halle is Single. And with this comes a buzzing from women across the nation which for some reason, question their own worth in comparison to Halle's "love" life. The disheartening question that arises is:

If Halle can't keep a man, how could I expect to?

My question is, "When did Halle Berry become the relationship hub for women?" Let me guess, somewhere between her role for Boomerang and Monster's Ball. Reality check, neither of those roles were healthy relationship models. And most importantly, they were movie roles!!!

Just because Ms. Berry is beautiful coupled by being a public figure, doesn't make her the ruler of yoir life, ladies. As a matter of fact, because she is these things, she is a target for faux connections.

There are men out there that would cheat on Halle Berry, just for the extra points he could garner from his peers. Halle is a multi millionaire with all of her relationship business out in the open. For love, I bet she'd do anything to have the conditions that a woman away from the public eye has.

Halle has been quoted in the past for wanting to be a mother. And not to take credit away from her most recent relationship, but I wouldn't be surprised that when she writes a book about her life, she'll admit to being with Gabriel for his model looks and DNA, to create a beautiful child.

Halle is her own woman, as you as woman that look up to her, should be. She has her own demons and regrets. She has her own victories and failures. And just she won and Oscar, doesn't make her the icon for how life should be lived.

She "can't keep a man" due to her choices in men. Maybe she doesn't want to be worshipped; maybe she wants to worship her man. But to worship is to submit your power, and any woman that is willing to reliquish her power suffers her own consequences.

You know, isn't it interesting how people would say that First Lady Obama is unattrative, yet she is with one of the most desirable men on the planet? The First Lady is attractive in more ways than just being beautiful. She has grace, she isn't afraid of the power she wields, and she is secure in herself. She isn't Halle, but she is beautiful still, if you eliminate the comparisons.

Gabriel reportedly left Halle because of their age difference of 9 years and the fact that he was still attracted to other women. Let's be clear: if he loved Halle, being attracted to other women wouldn't had mattered. So let's eliminate love. The 9 year age difference wasn't an issue until later on in the relationship. So maybe she was too mature for Gabriel; he didn't have the fun with Halle he remembered having with others. Ultimately, if he was with Halle because of her grace, no other woman would get in the way of that.

First Lady Obama - 1
Halle Berry - 0

Rest in Legendary Peace, Lena Horne.

This morning I woke up to the news that Lena Horne passed away . The chord of my soul was struck. I immediately thought about legacy, the passing of the torch. And sadly came to a conclusion that we're not producing torch bearers as my African-American ancestors once have in the past.

I thought about the sense of responsibility to our future, and how over the years it has become "my future." I thought about how there are babies being born to teenagers, and how those babies will grow up to continue this socially crippling cycle. I thought about how these children will learn about the Civil Rights Movement of the last century, as more of a lesson to get a grade in school, rather than their legacy. We are slipping further away from our DNA, our path, faster than the actual years which passed.

Another trailblazer is no longer with us. And I hurt because I know that a less worthy figure will unceromoniously be handed the torch. Someone will step up and give their condolences, say how much Lena inspired them (yet you hear or see no similarities), and people, mainly media will try to create a story to meet its 24/7 news requirements.

All that I want to hear is that there will never be another Lena Horne; that she will never be replaced. People say that you can't change what is destined. Well legacy is off the table as well. If the torch bearer hasn't named a predecesor, that light is their own, to shine forevermore.

Deshairism of the Day

The life you choose, is the life that you deserve.

Do you have the Heart to tell the truth?

I am only with you because your ass is huge…

I am only with you to save up money while spending yours…

You are not the father of my child…

Do you really think that I am with you because of your looks!?

I am and probably never will get past the fact of not being with my ex-significant other.

My mother doesn’t like you. But I like you enough to ride this out. We’ll just never get married.

I am attracted to your sister more than I am to you…

My child needed a father figure more than I need you…

I have 3 children, each with their own mother…

I am settling by being with you…

I am HIV/AIDS positive…



Do you have the heart not to break someone else’s heart? Desperation can bring out the self-centered liar in just about anyone. Hidden Agendas are the heart and soul of lies. And any person that holds onto the truth, are fueled by these agendas. Just face it, why lie for one slice of pizza, when you can lie for the whole pie! A man isn’t going to lie to a woman for just a kiss. A woman isn’t going to lie to a man a weekend getaway.

I ask that you OWN UP! I ask that you push all your chips to the center of the table and go ALL IN, with the truth. The truth, especially the scandalous kind, shouldn’t be used as a way for a person to openly accept your immaturity. The truth is your promise to be who you are… no masks, no hidden agendas, just YOU.

PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL NEED TO READ THIS THE MOST.

Deshairism of the Day

Dear Worries, it's been real. I'm just tired of you nagging on my spirits, so I am leaving you forever. Don't call me...

Don't Be Afraid to be Better

I would personally like to know what happened to the overconfident, self centered souls that once set the standard of success for which those that hated their guts, still wanted to emulate? What happened to the people that worked hard for everything achieved in their life that turned around and said, "I am better than you!" I really miss those skill sets.

Yes, you have some that have crossed the line of over confidence and self worth, with their nose held high and their pinky finger defying gravity. These are the examples for which many point to and say, "I don't want to be too confident if others will see me this way." So guess what, without realizing it, you suddenly don't want to be better than anybody. This is where many of us unknowingly reside in our personal lives.

We need not forget that life is a challenge, and the most competitive action there is. Life guarantee's more than death; life guarantee's that you will be better than someone, and somebody out there will be better than you. We need to realize that life isn't being lived if we are not competitive. More importantly, we must know our role in order to know our path.

An individuals' worth is connected to how they feel about their position in life. And if you don't feel like you're doing better, or simply better than another person, you will settle for less than you're worth. What is the point of working hard if you place yourself around a person that doesn't understand the first thing about what it takes to be something more?

So don't be afraid to be better than someone else. By doing so, you only put yourself at risk of losing, yourself.

Deshairism of the Day!

When it's over, Don't use how you feel about that person as a reason to stay, use how this person treats you as a reason to go.

The Race to Nowhere: Know-It-Alls are Self-Victimized

Having the answer to a question not asked isn't living... - wdf