Not Interested? Don't Give him Your Number!

My phone would ring, I'd pick it up and there is this nervous sounding guy on the other end. "Wrong Number," he says before hanging up. My phone would ring again. He is calling back, thinking that maybe he dialed the wrong digit. I pick up the phone again, this time with a little more attitude, and he hangs up.

I shake my head because I know that some young lady gave him a phone number that wasn't her own. I've been there; calling a woman I just met only to be asked, "Pick up or delivery?"

My question to women that commit this unspoken social crime is, "If you're not interested, why give out false hope?"

I understand, there is outdated social code that women play hard to get. This code causes for men to become aggressive in gaining a woman's time, in this case, phone number.

The dating game has changed on many levels. These days you'll find that women are more of "Go Getters" when it comes to getting what she wants. If she is interested, as a man or a woman, you'll know.

But what I find to be an issue is when bullying comes into play. Ladies, if you are not interested in the person that's pursuing you, get out of dodge. Let this person know that you are not interested and move forward. You can't allow yourself to be bullied into giving out your phone number. If he'd bully you for your number, why would he stop there? He'll press you for money and sex, and just so he'd leave you alone, you'd give in.

This isn't the way to go through life. Now let's say that you give him your real number but choose to not answer your phone. Now he is calling you every hour, texting you day after day. And all you can say is, "why doesn't he just get the picture and stop calling?" He won't! He didn't give up to get your number, why give up now? So do YOU get the picture?

You shouldn't reward a person that you're not interested in with your phone number. You will get what you gave in to.

Rest in Legendary Peace, Lena Horne.

This morning I woke up to the news that Lena Horne passed away . The chord of my soul was struck. I immediately thought about legacy, the passing of the torch. And sadly came to a conclusion that we're not producing torch bearers as my African-American ancestors once have in the past.

I thought about the sense of responsibility to our future, and how over the years it has become "my future." I thought about how there are babies being born to teenagers, and how those babies will grow up to continue this socially crippling cycle. I thought about how these children will learn about the Civil Rights Movement of the last century, as more of a lesson to get a grade in school, rather than their legacy. We are slipping further away from our DNA, our path, faster than the actual years which passed.

Another trailblazer is no longer with us. And I hurt because I know that a less worthy figure will unceromoniously be handed the torch. Someone will step up and give their condolences, say how much Lena inspired them (yet you hear or see no similarities), and people, mainly media will try to create a story to meet its 24/7 news requirements.

All that I want to hear is that there will never be another Lena Horne; that she will never be replaced. People say that you can't change what is destined. Well legacy is off the table as well. If the torch bearer hasn't named a predecesor, that light is their own, to shine forevermore.

Ladies, No More Walks After Dark

Ladies, why is it that when you're angry, you decide to take a long walk in the DARK? For one, it's pitch black, two, you're angry. You're not aware of your surroundings at all. And this is when you're most vulnerable. Just because you're a victim of your mind, doesn't mean you should be the victim of an assault as well.

Just a suggestion, take a deep breath and think about what else could go wrong if you make such a move. If you are a wine sipper, pour yourself a glass, light a candle and lean back in your favorite chair. Calm your mind and your nerves. But most importantly, don't leave your home.

The Race to Nowhere: Every Cause has an Effect

The 2009 MTV Music Awards is still airing, yet for me, it ended after the first award was handed out. Country singer, Taylor Swift, won the award for best video by a female artist when the arrogant, pompous, cry baby, Kanye West took to the stage to steal Taylor's moment.

Kanye went on his usual rant about what the "deserving" getting disrespected by the winner. Kanye thought that his future labelmate, Beyonce Knowles-Carter "deserved" to win the award that Taylor Swift held close to her heart. Wow, Kanye, I know that I don't matter to you; that's fine with me. However, I've spent most of your career defending your actions and the possible reasons why you do what you do. No more... just be yourself, I have no more words for you or your character.

While people are debating whether Kanye is an as*hole or not, I am thinking about his cause and Taylor's effect. This is another case where it's not about the Chi-Town recording artist. This is about Taylor Swift's moment, and how Kanye's actions (cause) crushed Taylor's moment of joy (effect). There is no debate in this matter. If you have a heart full of compassion, you are thinking about Taylor, not Kanye. Every cause has its effect. I am sorry that this must still be reminded.


Photograph Credit: Jerome Shaw