Tighten Your Jar, Ladies

Ladies, no man should know the taste of the cookies in your jar in less than 90 days minimum... I don't care how backed up you are...

How to Prevent Toxic Relationships (Toxic Relationship Week)

Every day, a heart breaks... it is crushed voluntarily and this is what tears me apart. Relationships and friendships alike, are math to me. And when I hear of two people, really being one person taking on the entire sunken ship, I can't add it up. I'm very patient when listening to someone vent about their toxic relations. But my blood begins to boil when I hear about a struggle that could've been prevented.

Toxic Relationships are very selfish on one side; often you'll find that you have a toxic character and a kind-hearted character. These are the relationships that you never hear one good thing about, yet is still in progress. Toxic does dirt, kind-hearted becomes broken, Toxic asks for forgiveness, kind-hearted gives a second chance for the 20th time.

So I wanted to put together a manual this week on how you could prevent these relationships or simply get out of them. Let's start with prevention. A Toxic Relationship doesn't just up and happen, it is nurtured from the very start. Here are some signs that your new connection could become a Toxic one:

• One person manipulates the other by using certain social checkpoints like sex, the meeting of family members (parents), or wanting to get close with your children as soon as possible. Yes, the toxic will find ways to get close to your heart without doing any work. For example, if your children likes Toxic, and you love your children, Toxic makes a breakthrough on your heart, by association.
• Suddenly, you're not doing the things you loved to do before meeting this person. Your toxic partner finds small ways to stand in the way of you hanging with people, whether by making you late enough to miss an event, faking sickness or offering you sex last-minute in hopes that you'd stay afterwards. This could be the same person that tries to put him or herself between you and your career.
• This person does everything in their power for you to feel sorry for him or her. Sob story after childish sob story, the trick is to have you believe that they need a hero, and you're it. But you can't save a person that doesn't want to be save (and this is where most toxic relationships thrive). You are practically saving a cat from the same tree, every day; and it is your kind-hearted nature that puts you in that tree without a hitch.

As I've said, Toxic Relationships are nurtured from the very beginning. And you would be surprised how often people fall for this toxic behavior. I ask that you share this information with the people you care about. Especially the people in your life in need of this unique information. 

How to Please a Woman

A man should love his woman for every man that wishes he had her. She'll feel fulfilled for it. - @Deshair

Do you have the Heart to tell the truth?

I am only with you because your ass is huge…

I am only with you to save up money while spending yours…

You are not the father of my child…

Do you really think that I am with you because of your looks!?

I am and probably never will get past the fact of not being with my ex-significant other.

My mother doesn’t like you. But I like you enough to ride this out. We’ll just never get married.

I am attracted to your sister more than I am to you…

My child needed a father figure more than I need you…

I have 3 children, each with their own mother…

I am settling by being with you…

I am HIV/AIDS positive…



Do you have the heart not to break someone else’s heart? Desperation can bring out the self-centered liar in just about anyone. Hidden Agendas are the heart and soul of lies. And any person that holds onto the truth, are fueled by these agendas. Just face it, why lie for one slice of pizza, when you can lie for the whole pie! A man isn’t going to lie to a woman for just a kiss. A woman isn’t going to lie to a man a weekend getaway.

I ask that you OWN UP! I ask that you push all your chips to the center of the table and go ALL IN, with the truth. The truth, especially the scandalous kind, shouldn’t be used as a way for a person to openly accept your immaturity. The truth is your promise to be who you are… no masks, no hidden agendas, just YOU.

PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH THE PEOPLE YOU FEEL NEED TO READ THIS THE MOST.

Stigma Killer: Make-up Sex

Like mostly all things that start off with good intentions, Make-up Sex has found its way into Relationship allure; where it shouldn't be.

Brief description: Make-up Sex is an action which follows a heated argument between a couple. This act of tension release after verbal and sometimes physical altercations is nothing more than a release. It never solves the problem, EVER!

Today, Make-up Sex has become a premeditated act. Why? Word got around that the act of sex after a heated argument is better. Word to the wise, it's not worth it.

Remember, you had to get into an argument to have the sex. You just set your relationship 10 steps backwards for 10 minutes of a supposed make-up!

Here's a suggestion. Find smarter ways to get your blood racing in your relationship, like taking a Kickboxing class together, cardio excersises together or even playful wrestling surrounded by pillows. Notice that these examples actually add to the chemistry of your relationship; the sex afterwards is the icing on a Red Velvet Cake! So get to it!

What are your thoughts on this subject? Can you think of more positive ways to get the blood pumping and spark up better sexual experiences without the drama?

Getting the job done,



The Stigma Killer

Stigma Killer: "Wifey's Never Become Wives"

A "wifey" for all extensive purporses isn't even the shell of a WIFE. A "wifey" is a Rap term to describe another Rap term, the "Ride or Die Chick". Both terms spoke of a woman that would stand by her man, nomatter what. Too bad these women didn't pick up on the fact that 'nomatter what' consisted of being in threesomes, being disrespected in public, being called out of your name, being one of many women in this mans life, etc.

Being the "wifey" often stands for having the title of "his main woman". This is the woman who for example, knows that her man is doing her wrong, putting her mental and physical health at danger, however she brags about the fact that he comes home to her at night; she brags about the fact of using his credit and debit cards; she would even confront his other women and call then "Reebok broads" while she is the one wearing the heels.

I would like you to notice a common denominator. Every statement being made on this subject is Rap music influenced... A male dominated industry that uses it's influence to mold women to their choosing. "I was just f*cking those girls, I was going to get right back," familiar lines from Jay-Z on the Blueprint that over time, became acceptable over time. He was telling his story and someone decided to live it.

The perfect example for the life of the Wifey is the song called, 'It Kills Me' by Melanie Fiona. This is a song that places the wifey on center stage where she questions if she should be a lady, because she wants to have his babies. In neither example that I have given, a woman is placed in a strong, powerful light.

Truth be told, a wifey could never become a WIFE, because the mentalities and responsibilities are night and day. A WIFE would never stoop as low as to share her husband and to be proud of the fact that she is #1. A healthy relationship has no number, no rankings, no perks over another. A WIFE wouldn't dare put her business, especially sexual, out into the street and neither would her husband. I am talking about a MATURE relationship here, and not mature in the context of sexual content; this maturity is between two adults. So yes, I am saying that being a wifey is immature and any man that wants a wifey is immature and selling the worth of a woman short.

Please, I ask of you to share this information with the people you love, by hitting the Retweet button at the beginning of this post or the Social Media buttons below. Leave comments no matter how short. This is Success in Training.

The Race to Nowhere: Stick With What Got You There

Ladies, have you ever come to a point in a relationship where you felt that you didn’t want for your connection to be all about sex? I’m sure that most of you have. You feel like once you popped the top on sexual encounters, that each time you get together, sex must take place. And in your mind, it doesn’t matter if you initiated it or not, it’s just the point that now it happens every time, any place.

Getting down to it, to feel that you don’t want for your relationship to be all about sex means that you may have had sex too early in your connection. You feel like you don’t talk or snuggle and kiss as much as you once have. You think about the times when you could kiss your significant other for hours on end and nothing sexual would come of it. Now that you’ve had sex, a kiss that lasts only minutes leads to clothing pealing off.

Now this is where the environment changes. You are disappointed in confused by what you have. You begin to wonder if your significant other is only with you for sex. You want more than that and feel like you only have so many options. I’ll lead with the two options that normally lead to failure.

1. Dodging any and all encounters that could possibly lead to sex. Remember how those kisses once lasted for 20 minutes? Well now, you deliberately cut down the time on the kiss, by pulling away after a short time. Or you simply choose to cut down your time together, altogether; only for a short period of time, you think, but now, you are risking your connection.
2. You begin to deny sex for as long as you feel as you need to, even if you want it just as bad. Suddenly, you start to match up your dates with when you are on your cycle, because this when you feel safest about sex not happening.

Now here is the million dollar question: If your significant other cheats on you during while you are holding off on sex, was your connection all about sex? Let me explain this… ok, so your man cheated on you and now you are angry; you are screaming at him, telling him that all he wanted was sex from you. Depending on the man, you might be right. But what if you’re not? What if you had a man that was dedicated to you and did all he could to stay faithful; however, it was your lack of giving him the emotional and physical connection that he has grown accustomed to, that led him down this road.

Ladies, if you do not want for your relationship to be all about sex, hold off on having sex altogether (no sex to begin with) until you feel that you have the connection you desire out of your significant other. Yes, there are times in sexually active relationships when being sexual isn’t priority like in sickness, after birth, etc. A man that goes elsewhere under these circumstances is heartless for doing so.

However, if you are deliberately denying him sex for long periods of time, you are the one in the wrong. Remember, loyalty doesn’t go in one direction. Don’t believe that your deliberate actions in denying him sex should prove him to being loyal to you, when you are NOT being loyal to him and his needs.

The best way to get through this is conversation. There must be an understanding in place to ensure that you both understand the importance of your overall connection. In all fairness and truth, sex can’t be demoted once it becomes a factor.

So what are you thoughts on these views?