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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How Social Networking could Ruin your Relationship

These days, there are so many ways to meet new people. We can thank the advancing of technology over the past 10 years for that. People are meeting through Facebook, Digg, Twitter, by commenting to the same breaking news, Ustream, dating sites, and that's just the digital ways. I still believe that there is no better way to meet someone than in person. What can I say, I just love certain traditions.

What I've noticed lately is how people are utilizing every possible medium to communicate, at ONCE. Sites like Twitter can do as much harm as good. All tweets are saved, even if they are deleted. People would complain about their friend not picking up the phone, yet, this friend is currently tweeting... an argument just waiting to happen.

Are you in a relationship affected by too many communication mediums? Here is how to find out. ok, so you have two mediums open, in-person and over-the-phone. Wait, you also text message, so that's 3 mediums. Now let's say you've met on Facebook; that's 4. If you are talking with a mutual friend on Facebook through 'posting replies', that's 5. Why, because if your significant other reads this conversation, they are now a part of it. You could add 2 more mediums if you follow each other on Twitter. Now you are up to 9 mediums of communication. That is just out of control.

The problem is that all day, you haven't had one conversation that was separated from your relationship. I am not making this point to say that either person has something to hide. What I am saying is that too many lines of communication can weigh down a relationship, even a friendship. Think about it... you just talked to your girlfriend on the phone, she posts a random update on Facebook, and now you're the first person replying to it. Frustration isn't the word if you find yourself not being about to escape someone.

Here are some tips to knock off a few mediums. I am a strong believer in laying down ground rules. I find that Facebook is best used for family and friends, while Twitter is best used for networking. So if you have a friend that uses software like TweetDeck or Social Scope to post to both Twitter and Facebook, choose which one you want to stay connected on. In relationships, keep your mediums below 5 and do so from the start. If you meet on Twitter (2), exchange phone numbers (3), this should be your limit (5). If you choose to be connected on Facebook, end your connection on Twitter. Any connection works best with space. Too much of even a good thing, could result in a relationship threatening disease. So imagine what too many communicative mediums could do to a relationship.

In closing, if you think adding these tips to your life could cause for dramatic expression, you are NOT in the mature relationship you thought you were in.

I would love to know your thoughts on this issue... I appreciate constructive criticism and Re-Tweets...


  1. I Definitely agree that this is a huge problem. for one, when the time comes for you and your significant other to come together at the end of the day, you don't have anything to talk about because you've been in each other's worlds all day.

    The second issue is, because of that over activity, there is a higher risk for inter-relational problems (such as mis- reading a tweet or FB post and drawing conclusions prematurely). In turn, that can lead to the end of a relationship very quickly!

  2. The options for social networking used to be wide open with more than 10 choices to choose from; now it's the big three (Myspace, Facebook and Twitter) and everyone is trying to pack everything about themselves into a very cramped place already. I understand wanting to use these portals for brand purposes but if you're friends with someone in the real world, why not shoot 'em a text message or even better call?

    Our digital lives are becoming increasingly the only lives we have now and soon inter-personal contact is going to be non-existent. Remember when your mom used to tell you to go play outside? The same thing applies now to most of us. The idiot box shouldn't dictate how we live.