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Sunday, August 22, 2010

How to Prevent Toxic Relationships (Toxic Relationship Week)

Every day, a heart breaks... it is crushed voluntarily and this is what tears me apart. Relationships and friendships alike, are math to me. And when I hear of two people, really being one person taking on the entire sunken ship, I can't add it up. I'm very patient when listening to someone vent about their toxic relations. But my blood begins to boil when I hear about a struggle that could've been prevented.

Toxic Relationships are very selfish on one side; often you'll find that you have a toxic character and a kind-hearted character. These are the relationships that you never hear one good thing about, yet is still in progress. Toxic does dirt, kind-hearted becomes broken, Toxic asks for forgiveness, kind-hearted gives a second chance for the 20th time.

So I wanted to put together a manual this week on how you could prevent these relationships or simply get out of them. Let's start with prevention. A Toxic Relationship doesn't just up and happen, it is nurtured from the very start. Here are some signs that your new connection could become a Toxic one:

  • One person manipulates the other by using certain social checkpoints like sex, the meeting of family members (parents), or wanting to get close with your children as soon as possible. Yes, the toxic will find ways to get close to your heart without doing any work. For example, if your children likes Toxic, and you love your children, Toxic makes a breakthrough on your heart, by association.
  • Suddenly, you're not doing the things you loved to do before meeting this person. Your toxic partner finds small ways to stand in the way of you hanging with people, whether by making you late enough to miss an event, faking sickness or offering you sex last-minute in hopes that you'd stay afterwards. This could be the same person that tries to put him or herself between you and your career.
  • This person does everything in their power for you to feel sorry for him or her. Sob story after childish sob story, the trick is to have you believe that they need a hero, and you're it. But you can't save a person that doesn't want to be save (and this is where most toxic relationships thrive). You are practically saving a cat from the same tree, every day; and it is your kind-hearted nature that puts you in that tree without a hitch.
As I've said, Toxic Relationships are nurtured from the very beginning. And you would be surprised how often people fall for this toxic behavior. I ask that you share this information with the people you care about. Especially the people in your life in need of this unique information. 


  1. Good Post. Hopefully it will help someone spot a toxic situation before it begins.